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America's Finest News Source Newswire   Abandoned Tuba Player Honks Mournfully By Side Of Road   Occasion Special Enough   Black Shopper Repeatedly Asked If He Works There   Wife In Lingerie At Least Gets Points For Trying   Third Shoe Somehow Drops   Pronunciation Corrected Incorrectly   Breasts Cupped   Sweat Dribbling Into Stew   Coupon Clipper Expires   Area Man Can’t Stop Playing With Piercing   Wildlife Threatened With Broom   Cliffs Notes Skimmed   Roof Accessed   Sperm Cells Unaware They’re Swimming Up Large Intestine   Man Waxes Patriotic, Truck   Call Ignored In The Order It Was Received   Cat Makes Break For It   Bargain Hunter Becomes The Bargain-Hunted   Man Accidentally Ends Business Call With ‘I Love You’   Woman On TV Gives Birth To Four-Month-Old Baby   Abandoned Tuba Player Honks Mournfully By Side Of Road   Occasion Special Enough   Black Shopper Repeatedly Asked If He Works There   Wife In Lingerie At Least Gets Points For Trying   Third Shoe Somehow Drops   Pronunciation Corrected Incorrectly